Life is the greatest gift one could ever ask for, mine is one I wouldn't trade for anything.. I love who I am and who I have in my life...


Friday, January 3, 2014

Knox Robert Rossberg

The pains started early morning wednesday, my lower back feeling pains that I thought were pretty horrible. Little did I know what I was feeling was nothing compared to what the next few days would bring...

By the time Zach was up and had headed into the office I was struggling to keep a steady breathe. I called my mother to ask her what to do and then called my doctor. His nurse informed me I wasn't ready yet and I needed to keep better track of my contractions and once they were closer to come in, but until then just stay calm. This is not easy to do when you are scared to death about giving birth. My mother continued to tell me 'well Kelly I'm pretty sure you are going to have a baby today' she then continued to say this for the next couple of days. I avoided going into the hospital knowing that I had a doctors appointment the next day. Sleep did not happen at all that night, nervous of what the doctor might have to say.

Thursday morning..... My appointment came and as I waited nervously in the office with the perfectly white paper blanket across my lap on the cold table it felt like an hour had passed before the doctor finally came in. He laid me back checked the happily beating heart of my baby and measured my very large belly, then checked my dilation and informed me I was at a 3! I was happy I was progressing and then Dr. Larson scraped my membrane, informed me that he might be seeing me in a few days if not sooner, and sent me on my way.

Friday night was even less sleep then I had gotten in months. My stomach started to twist and the pain in my back had gotten so intense. I ended up in the bath several times trying to ease the pain. After my last bath while getting dressed I felt water rush down my leg and continue to leak. Water broke? I wasn't sure so I put on a pad and monitored how much continued to come out. By the time 5:00am rolled around I called my mom for comfort and within the first few words my stomach has done, I started to puke up all the Chinese that I had the night before. This went on for hours..

I showered and got myself ready and waited patiently for Zach to wake up. Once he was up I informed him that I was pretty sure it was time and that my water had broken. He quickly got up, showered, and grabbed my bag. He gently helped me into the jeep and headed towards the hospital, he held my hand which helped me stay calm on the outside. On the inside I was even more freaked out then I had been all week. We parked and walked into the hospital, once they got me checked in they started running tests to see if I had actually broken my water. Sadly not yet, but I was dilated to a 4. I continued to vomit while I was there so they shot me full of something to make the nauseous feeling go away and then pumped me full of morphine. With the fact I was pretty dehydrated I started feeling it before we even made it to the parking lot. Zach got a kick out of that one. When we got back home I went to the office to make sure everything was caught up and then headed to my bed.

I laid in bed for only a moment before the phone calls started coming in, I vaguely remember the conversations with my family and friends. At this point the drugs had taken over so deeply that I was happy as a clam and not a care in the world. I started to come to after taking a nap and realized just how much pain I was actually in. My mother could hear it in my voice and instantly wanted to be by my side. By the time she arrived to comfort me I was curled up in a ball wincing in pain trying miserably to time my contractions. I was not ready to head to the hospital yet, I knew that the time wasn't here and I needed to wait till Zach was ready to go. My mom rubbed my back and assured me that everything was going to be ok and that she would take me to the hospital as soon as I said ok. And then Zach walked in... He knew right away it was time to go, him and my mother share a few laughs over how this morning he knew I wasn't ready but was positive the time had come.

I don't think I have ever gotten into the jeep as fast as I did when I finally made it outside. It was the longest drive to the hospital that I couldn't keep still and was just holding on to every bit of positivity I could muster. I was not waiting for anyone at that point. By the time we pulled into the parking lot it was already dark and I bolted to the door knowing that if I could move this fast than they should be able to keep up. When I got off the elevator and arrived at the front desk all I could do was point to my name on the list from earlier that day so show who I was. The nurses instantly understood and showed me to a room where it never felt so good to put on a hospital gown.

Once I was hooked up to the monitor I began to feel the contractions even sharper. Every noise hurt my ears and anything touching me felt almost as if it were going to cause a rash it burned so badly. I strongly informed people no talking during contractions but my mother was so excited that she couldn't stop talking. I sharply snapped at her to stop.. I'm pretty sure that I had never been so rude to my mom before then but at the time I didn't care I was in so much pain. She thankfully understood why my behavior was as such and went for a nurse to rush in my epidural to get the pain under control. I never felt the needle go in but the look that surfaced on Zach assumed me that it was something I didn't not want to be feeling or seeing.

Now that the meds had kicked in and I was finally comfortable things started to settle. By this point it had to have been close to 9 in the evening. my father had already arrived and I had spoken with my sister a few times as well as my girls, and Zach had updated his family so everyone knew the final count down had begun for little baby Knox to join us. Zach stayed by my side the entire time, he knew what I needed with out it even being said and made me feel so much love I was beyond grateful. My mom also stayed in the room the entire time, she was not willing to go home and risk missing the birth of my son. every time we had a new nurse in the room she would catch them up to speed on how she worked for the hospital and had lots of stories to share. (Pretty sure they all enjoyed her thankfully haha)

Shortly after being hooked up and having thing get settled I was under the impression that my water had broke because I felt a wet leaking. The nurses checked and I was bleeding. It started to scare me at first but they assured me it was nothing to be worried about, at least not right now. They hooked my up to an additional IV to pump me full of an antibiotic that would help with whatever sickness my body was trying to fight. The blood continued the entire time but was never a true issue. I didn't sleep much that night as I waited to dilate further. I played on facebook and made little comments here and there to give away the fact that this is it! We still had not posted much online about how I was having a baby so it was a shock to most as they figured it out. The Tv shows were not much better, I don't remember what it was but it wasn't good enough to keep me interested.

As morning came my sister arrived with food for Zach and mom. with her arrival I began to get excited and feel that the time was near. I was mentally preparing for what was about to happen. I was finally to a ten, it was still pretty dark in the room when my doctor showed up and said he was ready to get this show on the road. He quickly stuck a very long needle up and a gush of water filled the bed. Now I know what having your water break feels like, peeing your pants in a hurry after having a big gulp is how I would describe it. The nurse put my feet up and began telling me how I was going to need to be breathing and pushing. I could feel the sensation to push start and everyone started moving around so much faster. I had my sister, mother, and Zach right by my side at everything began. I know Zach was not planning on watching it happen but as he held my leg he couldn't help but watch.

It all happened so fast... It didn't hurt much either.. But suddenly there was this baby being laid on my chest and all I could do was cry. There were no words to describe how I felt at that moment. He was here, my little baby boy would had taken up residence inside me for the last nine months was finally here. He was so beautiful and wonderful, at this point the sun had come up and light was pouring into the room. This moment was blissful to me, I had a family, not just any family but my family. I was in love with Knox from the moment I first laid eyes on him. I had become a mother and I had never been happier.

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