Life is the greatest gift one could ever ask for, mine is one I wouldn't trade for anything.. I love who I am and who I have in my life...


Friday, June 1, 2012

My Emotions

Its all slightly fuzzy already in my head and its only been a few hours. So here are a few details so I will never forget no matter what my choice is. The past few days I have been in so much pain thinking that my period is going to start or that I was having appendicitis.. Well today June 1st, 2012 I decided to take a lunch and grab a test to make sure that wasn't the reason for the pain before I ran up a high bill at the doctors over nothing... Well it turns out this is something, today I peed on a stick and within 5 seconds it showed pregnant.. Tears and more tears were all that was coming out of me. Just straight fear for what my future holds and how hard it is going to be no matter what choice I make. The hardest part about all of it is not knowing if Zach is ready for this or can even handle it. I fear he doesn't love me the way I want him to and I am only going to make things worse for his life by having a child. I love Zach and i couldn't imagine having a baby with any body else but this is not what I am ready for.. the first person to know about this was my best friend Morgan. As I shook uncontrollably I slowly typed out that I was pregnant.. Then my boss walked into my office and I burst into more tears.... then Keith... all of them being so supportive for me and making me know that I will be OK... But the worst part is yet to come... Telling Zach... Wish me luck, I'm going to need it...

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